Wednesday, May 14, 2008

kalahari ferraris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so i have risen from the sunken sick bed and can now safely move further than the recommended 5 m from the loo.(should really write SELF recommended) thank heavens. spent the day resting though and laughing great belly laughs reading lulu's site its just brilliant real and terrifically funny. and gets to the heart. well. nothing quite like laughter to make one feel better. and a dead kali anti biotic equal to the monster bug.

t popped up the hill to ride her tall horse and my 5 year old daughter decided she would tear herself away from the fat hedgehog in the cardboard box (there must be a hedgehog convention or something on the hill..there are hundreds about. this one was found near the boiler this afternoon) and also ride. pea on a drum. she rides the old horse sirrocco with mwali (the syce) leading of course. he is a big old kind horse. my war horse.boys tore in from school and i lay lower...tempted to act sicker than i really am because was so enjoying reading family affairs and laughing so much that i didn;t really want to be disturbed. like a whole day wasn't enough. well. not really. when you have been as sick as i have. in the grips of this Mighty Bug Which Takes No Prisoners. its days are drawing to a close. and frankly, i am getting hungry again and had to seriously hold back from tearing into the cheesy canaloni (sp?)for dinner. i managed two teeny mousy helpings but wanted heaps more.

i even had enough energy to finally wash daughters hair which has lice again...sigh sigh...and comb through and kill four dudus (insects). it will be the olive oil situation again tommorrow but this time i SWEAR to complete the project and keep the hair oiled and combed for at least until the next new moon. it must be something in my DNA. but i love finding dudus and squashing them in my nails. i know i know. grunt grunt.its so primate. but hey.
must go for that wax tommorrow.

i managed to miss parents evening yet again but this time it was completely out of my control and i kid you not. c was the dutiful dad and attended. the boys are doing very well indeed. danu p in the middle of hideous sats exams in year 6. he seems to enjoy them which has to be a credit to the school. or to us as parents, you know, not making a fuss or a scene about fact i had forgotten about them. i was sick. i was sick.

at one point this evening i almost wished to be back in the sanctuary of the spare room. in literally the first half hour of being up i managed to offend two children unintentionally. amazing. rubin and gabby. their outrage was shortlived but nevertheless forthright and loud! and rubbish. seconds later all three are running like mad things through our little house. we have an outbreak of kalahari ferrarris (and i don;t know how to spell ferrari? or is it like mississippi with doubles throughout? you can tell i am a snaggle toothed hill billy from back of beyond). kalahari ferrarris are not ferrarris made in the kalahari but spider like creatures (harmless and not spiders at all - a species entirely to themselves - so says heroic bush snake expert man of mine - although they don't look harmless and i have never seen him catch one) which literally race around at great speed and angles and surprise the hell out of you with their speed and accuracy (for your foot, or arm, or face or whatever is in the way ... your eye). all the ones this evening are babies. they grow to quite a marvelous sci fi size and are impressionable. i am not sure what they eat. babies fingers?

a long time ago, pre kid days, we kept a baboon spider for a pet. well. she was in a box to be observed and respected. a baboon spider is large,black, bulbous and hairy and bites with poison which causes necrosis (rotting of flesh - lovely). when you see one you naturally know not to mess with it. they grow to the size of a clenched fist. like a tarantula type affair.
our one was a female and was christened Babette The Baboon Spider. she was discovered in someones book shelf and was covered in insy winsy baby baboon spiders. all clinging onto her big fat bottom. she was popped into a jar and promptly into an awaiting tank (there were always loads of those at home then) where she swiftly wove an impressive web with a long white tunneled entrance. very grand indeed. and heaved herself deep into her gleaming castle with her big hairy legs.
we fed her with live grasshoppers. we would plop them into her cage. i know. gory. but heroic bush husband was fascinated to learn about all of gods wonderous creatures and their behaviours. i would watch with horror and keen interest as she would stalk with intent down her long white webbed corridor towards the happily unaware little jimminy know, thinking, hoo boy! this is a cool glass center? where did i land? WHOA! and then wait with anticipation for the right moment and then leap and crush the hopper dead with these fangs as long as cats claws, the colour of steel. she would suck all the juice out of the hopper and leave a very neat square juiceless desposit which c would later carefully, very carefully, remove. lovely. when we left for long leave to lake malawi, she wasn;t the sort of pet anyone wanted to look after. so we played Born Free on our old cassette player and chucked her into the combretum thicket behind our house. Nice knowing you Babs....Ciaou for now.

kalahari ferrarris are not of this genre, fortunately. gabby is filled with a mix of glee and fear and a need to impress her she races around the house screaming "karaari karraaris!wwweeeeeee!~" in her bare little pink feet.

i tried to get a picture of our resident KF's to show you but i think the kids scared them all away.

after our kalahari ferrarri circus i watched the kids play Smelly Socks. The aim of the game is to make the person who is on, laugh. if they are unimpressed by your attempts at humour they shout out Smelly Socks! Next! and you have to try again. its fascinating really how literally all three of them revert to toilet humour. willies. showing their bums. farting. boys acting like girls or elvis presley styled rock singers (not that that's toilet humour of course!) and gabby sort of doing a willy thing too. hmm. kept my nose buried in my lap top but, one eye on the antics.

oh and one more story of the day. when t came to ride she said that c and N from lake eyasi (the place we went camping written about on previous blog) both, on seperate occassions this past week, were attacked by a 4.5m long python while walking in the bush. c was first. just strolling on his own when out of no-where it came and like lightening wrapped itself around his leg. yikes. they eat children (and south african truck drivers according to a zambian daily newspaper). the very next day n was walking with the kids and the dogs and the damned snake attacked her. oooooooooooooooergh. so of course c had to kill it. risky business. riksy business and highly unusual for a python. . its true. i have learnt everything i know about snakes from my craig. about rhombic egg eaters, night adders, house snakes, file snakes (they are cannibals - we like them!) little emerald green usambara vipers with the little horns on their pretty. and how cobras can come alive even when their heads have been shot off with a shot gun...that is another story for another time.

i think that is a house snake on the right. ...(heroic bush husband has peered over my shoulder and loudly guffawed at my identification skills) after all these years...twenty or something...its a bloody olive sand snake...der. and fondly ruffles my he didn't really.

ah its good to feel well again. at least on the path to feeling well again. i shall now safely relocate back into our loft bedroom before the damned mosquitos air lift me there....


family affairs said...

Thank you for your lovely comments re my blog and glad to hear you are feeling better x

Chimera said...

Those bloody things freak me out! They zoom to the dark spots away from the one frantically trying to keep them at bay by torch light.
Babs and Born Free! Wonderful images and memories me dear! More!
T x

Janelle said...

ah thanks tanvi! yes they are scary like that! they go soooo fast and whizz...oh yes..plenty more bush stories in the old hat! XXX J

N said...

Once, while heavily pregnant and sitting on the loo in the middle of the night, a spider came a walking past the loo with all her babies on her back. I am terrified of spiders! Just as well I was on the loo! I got Mr Husband to catch it in a bottle and I meant to take it to the museum to find out more about it (curious kids and all that) but the purity bottle that Mr Husband had used managed to get lost amongst all the other junk on the kitchen counter and about a month later I discovered it. The babies had eaten the mother. I am still receiving councelling.