Friday, September 26, 2008

rubinovitch zorro texiera doria - The One And Only.

so last night, after writing about the state of africa and all the horrors, i was tidying up my desk, or rather pretending to; sort of making vague fluttering movements with my hands- more like shuffling things around - and i found rubin's phone. rubin is my second born son - with the largest blue eyes you have ever seen and hands round, the size of plates - he is only nine. he is extraordinary. his mind thinks quite differently from the rest of the world. some of the time. in those wonderfully quite unexpected times. it's truly inspiring. and indeed, thought provoking. at times, plain mystifying.

he sees the spaces between the words and the lines. i remember once, when he was littler, i was reading a story to him. a story with no pictures. just printed pages and he said oh mummy look at that beautiful tree. so i looked outside. and he said no, there. and pointed onto the printed page. i said where? and he traced the shape with a chubby grubby finger between the words in the spaces and suddenly a beautiful tortillis tree leapt out at me. i was stunned. i battled to see the words again. all i could see was the tree. i didn't want him to lose this ability. but i think school is slowly training him out of it. he doesn't like reading. or writing. but he knows how many nuts and bolts it took to make the eiffel tower.

look. i KNOW mothers are not supposed to snoop but i can't help myself. so snoop i did. around his phone and into his text messages. i was immediately inspired to dedicate an entire post to this darling extraordinary person of nine and to share these utter gems with you. happily, i am one of the main recipients of these short and sweet messages. am wondering why i never received any? perhaps he sent them to another lucky person.

the recipients are: me, marnich (12yrs - friend of first born and rubin's) tinus (marnich's dad - marnich's very big dad. clearly marnich had his dad's phone i hope?) and rubin's dad, safari craig. i have not changed anything. these are direct transcripts. my comments are in brackets.

1) to me: Hi mum. Cum bake. (meaning come back... had i told him i was off to The Purple Planet again? where no-one can disturb me? from where i might never return? couldn't possibly have. used that one when they were really small so it had a devastating impact on their seperation anxieties - and worked like a treat. shut them up pronto.


lost frightened confused child: but mama can we come with to the Purple Planet? please mama (in very small and pathetic voice)

angry psycho white trash mother (probably clutching a cigarette back in those bayad ole smokin' days in the side of my mouth) : OF COURSE YOU BLOODY WELL CAN'T! WHAT WOULD BE THE GODDAMN POINT THEN????

2) to me:Hi mum. This is inposiballe (what? smsing? or spelling? or fitting the cat into a small tupperware tube? what?)

3) to me: three little phone images of cupid shooting his arrows..

4) to dad: Dad i need anathe bow (as in bow and arrows - dad is out in the middle of the bush obviously bumping into bow and arrow touting people)

5) to dad: hi dad was u.s.a fun? (pass. dad is sitting next to lake natron, a few miles from the kenyan border....?)

6) to marnich: Hi murnich cuming to storm braker from rubin

7) to marnich: Hi budy. Cuming to tgt. From rubin doria (just in case marnich was unsure which rubin was smsing him... like marnich has thousands of friends called rubin in arusha.)

8) to marnich: Hi manich.

9) to marnich: hi idiat (!!!??)

10) to marnich: Hi fuker. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the last three were sent in quick succession. )

11) to tinus (marnich's really big dad): shatup (!!??)

12) to tinus: (as above): so

and rubin is the only person i know who, on being accused of showing his middle finger to random drivers in the middle of town from the back seat when he was about 5, unbeknownest to me (well. he was being so good and quiet) said that it had been an accident. that it had all been a mistake. that he hadn't done it on purpose. like the devil made him do all started when a green landrover overtook us and the driver turned laughingly, but slightly wide eyed, towards us as they sped off. i said, oh i wonder who that is? and rubin said oh i don't know. so i sped up and overtook the landrover. it was dave dot com, the IT man. a little while later safari craig called and said that dave dot com had phoned to report the fact that rubin was throwing the middle finger at passing traffic....

but not on purpose. not on purpose. sort of haphazardly, as it were. the hand had a life of its own. as hands sometimes do. oh whoops. there it goes again. whoa.

Kitchen Board: Friday Night (FRIDAY NIGHT?) 26 Sept 2008

Contributors: Veronica, Gabriella.
Comments: well. no flash again tonight. but instead, a sweet petal of a child...
toodely pip y'all and comme toujours, bisous, XXX the warm dusty african kind. xx janelle


Lori ann said...

oh dear janelle. what a boy you have. the sweetness of youth.i think you don't have to worry about the school taking anything out of him, he's got you.

you are a nicer mom than me, I was the one going to the purple planet usually with my frequent flyer miles.

xxoo lori

Janelle said...

heh heh heh!! you sweetheart...what was the purple planet like? i never quite got there!? xx janelle

tut-tut said...

Oh, I hope he's not losing his ability to see the shapes, the designs that are hidden from the rest of us! What lovely children you have.

Reya Mellicker said...

Your children are as extraordinary as you! Of course ... but ...never guaranteed. Thanks so much for the beautiful word portrait. Wonder what shape he would see in the words of your blogpost?

Janelle said...

oh reya, he'd be furious with me! xx janelle

Miranda said...

Ah Janella, you have the bestest specialist wonderfullest kids. If mine turn out a 9th of what yours are like and if I am a 14th of the mother that you are all will be well (have to cross the first hurdle of getting pregnant first! Hurry UP) I wanted to write a post on dear Rubin too, maybe I still will. Of last time I was at your house and we were reading Vogue and all his hilarious insights and comments on all the "ugly skinny" models. xxx

family affairs said...

He is gorgeous. You're right. The biggest blue eyes ever Lx

ciara said...

kids are funny w the wonderful he can see the shapes amongst the words. i sometimes can, but not often. youthful minds are less cluttered. your boy is very adorable...all your kids are really. :)

Jocelyn said...

He's a luv. From that picture you've posted, I'd say he could launch himself into a career as a supermodel, too--if doing that wouldn't suck the very soul right out of his gorgeous self, of course.

Mickle in NZ said...

What a beautiful face, and gorgeous eyes. His Mama's done well.

Thinking of Mama's - how is Paka getting on with her lovely furryballs?

Zeb the rotound is purrumbling away to himself in warm joy.
Huggles and purrs

Ernest de Cugnac said...

well well janelle, your kids are walking talking examples of the quality of your gene pool.

Janelle said...

ah say the sweetest things. you really do. hope your week end was good. xx j
yes lulu i know! he really is! thanks hon! xx j
hey merci ciara! xx j
indeend jo. and then he can buy his mama a red porche. soul? soul? HAH! x j
and mickel thanks. yes mama paka is doing extremely well and the eyes are starting to open. they are adorable. xx j
and ernest. ernest. what can i say but you are most likely right. damnit. xx j

tam said...

Haha. I love that boy. When I saw him at Mo's wedding [for the first time since he was quite a lot smaller) he stared straight into my eyes for what felt a very long time, like he was downloading all my software via some magical infra something connection, and then, when he was done he started chatting to me as normal as we had been afternoon buddies every day for the last 6 years.
They are extraordinary. Ernest, Its their dad...



you know.

alex said...

First can someone explain what this word verification is and why it is there? Dont get it...
I remember when rubin was born and you and craig would look at him and say 'who are you" and "where are you from? and you said his eyes were exactly like this phot of your grandfather(?)....those eyes...those eyes that would follow you aroudn the room when he was a baby...those eyes will break and mend hearts...wish I could know your kids Janelle....I feel that Gabriella and I would form an instant friendship, kindred naughty spirits. Tis true your kids are corkers! xx