Saturday, August 15, 2009

discombobulated.

a week-end looms. and i feel oddly blue.

maybe i have a case of the PPD's (post piss up depression)? or maybe...no.no. let's nip it in the bud right here. bah.

our crazy little band of hill dwellers had a haphazard tent warming get together last night, for my spaghetti thin riding buddy, tati. it wasn't planned or anything. there were four of us and five wild children. and a sky full of stars and um, three bottles of champagne and a bottle of wine. and a general feeling of instability surrounding the small bowl of radishes, carrots and feta cheese. there was a vague consensus that the planets must be cartwheeling or something. although i've been told that that was ages ago. still. maybe things take longer to catch up here. oh who knows.


the wild things played sardines. finley (4) drank someone's entire mug of champagne. the wild things had piggy back races over an obstacle course around the tent (and the paraffin lamps) while we drank more and danced and laughed more. we made enough noise for at least sixty people. this was good. and spoke of frivolous things. well. damian and paul tried to talk about serious things like buildings and architecture and politics. i broke that up fast. we decided the factory lights looked like fallen stars and that i was flushed with love, life and all things good. i can assure you, oh bestest beloveds, this morning it's as drab as anything.
and i can hear my heart rattling in my bone brittle skeleton.


godsakes. so. in order to chase the lurking black dog i have murkily decided to pluck us hence from these grey hills and head to the club where apparently there is a seven a side rugby afternoon going on....last time we went to watch the cricket. when the batting team lost their temper and refused to carry on with play. it was delightfully shocking and eye brow raising bad sportsmanship. i was desperately wanting a punch up, after the caught batsman threw down his bat and cursed the umpire in excellent swahili. but no. everyone managed to keep it together. buggar. anyway. yes. this grey cold afternoon. yes. the wild things can romp around the field and i shall attempt to make a single solid connection with at least one person. instead of staring out to the distant horizon with a head full of floaty notions.


this sense of terrible discombobulation is well, terrible. terribly lovely. terribly unsettling. terribly devastating. beautifully and dangerously ungrounded. dis-connection moving into something separate and surreal. it's like someone just cut my string and i am a loose kite. a free kite.



and the unpredictable wind's picking up....whoa. . .

Kitchen Board: a blustery grey cold saturday afternoon, 15 august 2009: 14:18HRS and counting.

will grab milo and fatty milk from mohammeds. small fish are coming from kisongo. . .
toodely oh toodely, bestests. bisous X.X.X soft icy ones on a warm neck. x j




14 comments:

Reya Mellicker said...

I, too, am terribly discombobulated. I continue to blame that condition on the death of Jake, but maybe it's in the air.

Does misery love company? Maybe. Or maybe I just always love being on your wavelength. Who knows?

Reya Mellicker said...

"Full fucking fat milk."

YES!!

Bill Stankus said...

Ah, air molecules ripe with discontent. We are who we are despite paradise at our feet.

Elizabeth said...

Word verification:
bloflows

what is that?

your party sounds wonderful.
I'm sure the kiddies had a good time.
Reya is right, in America everyone is in a REALLY BAD TEMPER
why?

tut-tut said...

I'm with you on the milk . . .

untethered kites generally blow some interesting places

Val said...

hey Janelle - just loved your last few posts. Am a bit discombobulated meself...
your blog is a place of beauty and inspiration - thanks so much! xx

family affairs said...

I am the queen of discombobulation and hangovers mixed together "hangdiscbobovers" - they are not at all good and make you feel, well yes, exactly as you described like an unanchored floating balloon. Enjoy it while it lasts. You'll soon be back down to earth in your normal routines and probably quite miss it!

Big love L xx

Janelle said...

thanks y'all for comments. yeah bill, you're right, paradies likes thrown at our feet...sometimes littered with little bad things...
but just so y'all know, this kite is high high where the wind blows and the sky is bluer than anyone can possibly imagine..its a long way down though..and it's icy cold up here. but boy, it's beautiful. x j

Mud in the City said...

It's the wind that does it. The same way it gets under the horses' tails as they prance, wild eyed in its wake. It gusts us, blasts us and thoroughly discombobulates us.

Mind you, can one ever be Combobulated? Not sure I ever am.

karen said...

Enjoy that fatty milk, and the small fish. Discombobulation has to be part of everybody's experience from time to time, and a kite-like experience must be a special one, indeed!

Angela said...

Now that`s a new word to me, and though you all seem to know it, even my dictionary has never heard of it. But I get the meaning, I do. Only I am not feeling like it, I feel grounded and easy-going and kinda happy all along. But the sun is out, clouds and wind are making a nice morning light with the leaves dancing and the sky changing ...why should I feel discombobu...bobu? Besides, Lori sent me a CD with your music, Janelli, and now I can listen to it and feel like dancing along! It is beautiful! Come down again and play a little more: Things are nice down here, aren`t they?

Dumdad said...

I get days like that - but without all the wild African skies and beasts and stuff.

Word veri: itypon

which is almost typhoon

Janelle said...

thanks DD, geli, karen, mud. geli so glad you received the CD! how kind of lori to send one. will send her a thank-you. and things actually are competely rosy on ground level. too.
lots love all round to y'all xx j

Miranda said...

Ruben came round and explained in great detail what all the boys did in the long drop! Their own scent marking on new turf it seems!