Friday, November 6, 2009

boston legal and the brady bunch

ok. this has to be quick, people. like thirty minutes quick. this is what things have come to. short little spurts of dedication. no matter how hard i try and not to become a slave to the clock, it ain't working..... the thing is, in thirty minutes all children must be cosily ensconced in bed. i Am The Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe ( pink) Who Had So Many Children She Didn't Know What To Do. Thing One and Thing Two have come to stay for 5 nights. their father left for cape town, to join their mother. his parting shot was, oh, and i think they have lice. toodely.
well. the old woman does actually know what to do with The Brady Bunch. spank them and send them to bed. after beans and rice, because she isn't as mean as the other one. with immediate effect. so she can watch more boston legal, to which she has become unromantically addicted. after a quick blogging fix.
even though the old woman from the hill finally made it to the Saloon ( hair salon in tanzania), she has nothing better to do than watch boston legal. without prompting, beloved T, our stalwart worker of great hair art a la educating rita style, said, "so? do i need to check you for lice?" straight out. just like that. how does she know?
Oh. My. God.

purple faced, i assented. i mean. wtf? and sat squirming for a good three minutes as she performed an entirely thorough and professional sherlockian search.... and thank baby jesus and his good family, i was given a clean slate. work began.

i am back on the hill, in the very pink house (it has recently had a fresh very pink lick of paint) feeling ever so jennifer arniston like, straight locks banging about the place, with RED nails (very short, very red nails. my excuse was i needed to stop biting them. who nervously nibbles on red enamel nails? if truth be told, as we like it to be, i was inspired by ali, whose short very red nails caught my bored wandering eye a few weeks ago. she told me she needed to stop biting them. i have never used scissors or files so a reasonable conclusion must be that i shape them with my teeth. today my nibbled working hands were Filed (would you like them curved or straight? curved please filed) and Painted.) my toes are deep purple too. just in case you were wonderin'. i daren't don my north stars. yet. in case it crinkles them. or shower. yet. in case the hair turns back to this:

as i floated out, lice free and terrifically straight haired, from the saloon, i passed someone who was sketchily familiar, who said, jeez, where are you off to?
um. home, actually. to watch boston legal, you?
Kitchen Board: a hot november windless ngorobob night. 2009.
gram flour? haven't a clue. let's see what pitches up on monday morning Campaign shopping . could prove inspirational.
last interrupted and vaguely decodable message from safari craig, who is presently somewhere in the northern serengeti mara river region, TANZANIA, was this: client: aw gaad. south africa is BEEWDAFOOL!~
. . . .
stunning. just stunning.
so toodely, ya lovelies, bisous X. X, X. ridiculously red, straight ones. x j
and ps: i promise you that the chilren's pained and saddened expressions in featured pic, is NOT because i am wildly psychotic and a completely careless and rubbish child carer, but because 2 on left hand side of pic were wrenched from some random mind numbing computer game, 1 on very RHS of pic was cruelly snatched from a play station world cup game of soccer and as for the 2 in the middle, clueless. absolutely have no idea. (well. one is blurred so no one could ever tell anyway.)


Janelle said...

toe NAILS. toe NAILS, she meant.

Dumdad said...

"my toes are deep purple too."

Your toes have great taste - awesome rock band!

family affairs said...

Well at least your toenails aren't furry after wearing Ugg boots too soon like mine were last the red nail straight hair look and please tell me that isn't a real baby taking pride of place in the photo? Lx

Janelle said...

hey DD...deep purple was Heavy Rock, man! good to hear from you. x j

and lulu...nope. i nearly wrote underneath "and that isn't miranda's baby" j

Miranda said...

haha, kinda looks like her doncha think?

Where to you plan to find a black Kiwi, pray do tell?

karen said...

Hi Janelle, been catching up here! I can relate to the circumnavigational sensations. Great picture of the gang of kids, complete with dragged-off-computer-games sad faces, which I am also very familiar with from the past!! Glad you can still manage a bit of blogging, to keep us going... have a wonderful weekend!

Val said...

as ever - totally uplifted and smiling by your homespun tales. that pic of the kids is great - i did do a double take on the babydoll! thanks for the tip about the red nails..hmmm
have fun with the wild bunch xxxV

Reya Mellicker said...

Are you doing the 50,000 word thing? Because if so you are especially generous to gift us with these words here on the blog. This is an absolutely perfect post, as perfect as your hair and nails, definitely!

Hope you're wearing red lipstick, too. Yes?

Janelle said...

miranda. i shall find black kiwi at ikhwans... x j

thanks karen!! great to get your comment. always! xx j

and val and reya, hello! yes. wild bunch indeed. i tell ya. reya, nope. i am NOT doing the 50 000 words thingymajig, heavens above. i would have to forfeit my sleep time to partake! no ways. and yes to re lip stick! lots love to you both XX j

Miranda said...

Hellooo? A black Kiwi, geddit geddit? Like Kiwi Craig but black. Shall I spell it out some more??! Does s/he work at Ikwans?

Janelle said...

oooooooooooooooooooooooooh. duh. x j

Mud in the City said...

Black kiwi = All Blacks surely?

As for the children and lice, just shave the lot of them!