Thursday, August 19, 2010

two brilliant people and why i'm tired



days flip past like cards in a card game.
i'm waiting for the joker. i forgot to remove it from the pack.
the school term is approaching. closer and closer. quite suddenly i think, " i can't do this! i can't i can't...wail wail etc.." let's see. i'm terrified.

in the meantime, back at the ranch....

i have been traipsing after my friend, mags, who is a vet. so DOCTOR magdalena. she's not just any kind of vet but a vet for gorillas and chimpanzees. and horses. and dogs and cats. she lives in rwanda and treks into the forests to check up on mountain gorillas. she's awesome. and full of energy like a whirly gig. it's exhausting sometimes. she never ever stops. oh and did i mention she rode dressage for poland many years ago? she knows stuff. so while she was here, on holiday, training my horses so they are machines, it was decided we would geld my little colt, sukari. (chop his balls off, in other words.) we borrowed The Emasculator. dot dot dot...


quite suddenly the little hill house is empty of all male members. two boys have headed into losamingora mountains on safari (for 7 days bird shooting and doing bally boy things in the mountain forests) the silver back (as in safari c) baulked and disappeared back to maasailand. sadly mwali had to hold the colt whilst this gory operation was happening. he and mommedi were very interested at the beginning....


this is what he looked like as the first ball was coming off....


precisely after this, he dropped the rope and shook his head and said " i can't watch this anymore..." and i suspect went to get sick in the loo. the little horse was tranquilized and doped up with pain killers, people. so he couldn't feel anything. i promise. but OWEEEEE. it was quite challenging to watch, it must be said. i have decided not to post the picture of the actual removal. beppe, our fabulously charming vet, hailing from southern Italy, held the emasculator while mags did the stitching etc....



beppe is another wow person. another vet. he travels to places like somalia, pakistan and afghanistan where not many people like to travel and works with people and goats and sheep and cattle and writes long and interesting reports on projects. he is very funny. in true southern italian style, he cracked jokes about eating horse balls. which made my toes curl. he was charmed by the beautiful magdalena. they swopped notes, as vets do. it was decided that the following day the goat would be de-balled too. so mags could see. she has never de balled a goat before. (is this how vets flirt, i wondered?)

i was duly convinced, by my doctor friends, that indeed it was time for Beano (the little white goat which a chief in natron gave to safari craig because he's so nice) to be de balled. " he will start to get very cheeky if you don't," they told me. and regaled me with a tale of someone being knocked out by a goat head butt. ok. convinced. when Beano arrived, i was definitely going to eat him. but literally in two days he became a fast and firm friend. goats are clever like this. so the following morning, beano lost his balls too...well actually, they're still there but apparently will fall off. a little elastic is neatly and very tightly tied around them. he seems fine, actually. . . .

and as if this wasn't enough, the next thing on the agenda was Teeth Filing...for horses....and we all know, oh best beloveds, what i feel about dentists and teeth....oh my. positively foetal at the best of times.

all the older horses with long teeth were led out and one by one had their teeth ground by an electric drill type file thingy. it was nerve shattering to say the least. but essential. i asked if i could also have some horse tranquillizer but my doctor friends just laughed at me. i was being quite serious.


mommedi is looking the other way because of all the tooth enamel flying everywhere. after the teeth, we had to lance a horse hoof to drain an abscess.

magdalena was magnificent obviously. we all thought so. and so was beppe. she has left for rwanda and gorillas and left me to do all the after care....which i am taking very seriously. here they are after everything... guilio is another trainee vet on the LHS. beppe is in the middle and Magnificent Magdalena is on the RHS.


here is an email i received this morning:

Dear Janel,

Nice to read you and get news.

I never had a so relaxing working time in my life. Could you please ask Magdalena to come back for me to go fishing to Lake Turkana?

Nice to know Sukari is better. Please tell Craig that I took the emasculator with me but I left the elastrator.

Best regards to all of you from Giulio and me (Lieve is in Dar).

Dear Magdalena,

I am really disappointed with you. The only work (?) I did was the X-rays and...........you say that only one was less than acceptable, you disgraced me. Nobody will ask anymore for my services.

Thanks for the excellent description of the lesion and way forward. I am available to trim the hoof and help to make the bar-hoof up (I need the shoe first). X-rays, it is not a problem, however VJ should come next week and if Janice wants, we could try to organize a visit and make “good x-rays”. Otherwise you have to keep-up with mine.

We will send you the feed-back and photos of an excellent ray.

All the Arusha animals are missing you, please come back soon.

Keep well and in touch

Beppe


toodely toot oh best beloveds and bisous X.X.X. ones with balls. x j



7 comments:

Miranda said...

AHA! So that's where you've been all this time...

Reya Mellicker said...

OK. No wonder you're tired. Whoa ...

though you are surrounded by wonderful people. Powerful people.

Spiny Marshmallow said...

WOw - thats so impressive - what a bunch of hotties in every way

Elizabeth said...

I am quite speechless in tame old NY City
what extravagantly wonderful and exotic friends you have

horse dentist
now there's a good career opportunity
how tame we are here in the little old civilized (my foot!) USA

I can quite understand people feeling a little queasy at the EMASCULATOR...................
Robert would be out stone cold dead on the floor

hope your boys are having a wild old time

tell G. that I'm writing a new Jane story......

oxoxo

Janelle said...

good to see you tonight mo! finally! xxx

reya yes...powerful amazing people...like pilots. xxx j

pamera! yeah really wow. xxx

elizabeth! i will indeed tell g!!!! WELL DONE! xxx j

Lori ann said...

first can i say eeeewwwwwwwwwww.

i don't think i could be as brave as you hanging around and taking photos even. but well done and excellent post even.
your horse is lovely, with or without balls.
xxx

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