Friday, December 10, 2010

as i was sayin'...

i used to be here a lot a long long time ago.
i really won't be cross if everyone's gone away, having given up on the old woman who lives in a little weather beaten pink house on the top of a tanzanian hill called ngorobob.
she made the mistake of becoming an English teacher. this has sapped away all her time and energy but she is now on holiday and has returned, gingerly it must be said, to blog land.
so. lots to catch up on, eh, oh bestest blogging beloveds.

the goat, called albino (remember the one a chief from lake natron bestowed upon safari craig many moons ago? who was destined for the pot?) is still alive. he managed to make best friends with everyone in one day so no one can ever eat him, no matter how annoying he has become. he has discovered his reflection in the mirror and has been found ON the dining table, daintily tip toeing amongst the glasses, to collect his friend from the mirror. he has shown an unswerving determination to enter the house at any given chance. one is reduced to sprinting, as fast as hussein bolt i imagine, to beat him to the front door and close him out. but no, we can't kill him.

instead, i managed to kill tigger, our beloved dog who has been with us forever. i ran her over by mistake after which the vet advised it would be kinder to put her down. this of course was devastating and reduced me to a mass of snot and tears and sent me on a downward spiral of depression. i know she was only a dog, but what a hole she has left. she is buried next to toffee the pony and tintin the jack russel at the bottom of the hill.

and of course, school is to blame. it was hideously busy, culminating in a production of Arthur Miller's dire Death Of A Salesman. i sold my soul to the devil and to god (a little competition never did anyone any harm) for a storm on the opening night (we have an open air ampitheater at school) - not just any old storm, i specified, but a definitely time to build an ark type of storm. it didn't work. i even cajoled someones spinster, christian sister to pray for this monumental storm of all storms. it didn't work. needless to say, the students were fantastic and pulled it off with great aplomb, making me quite emotional and teary with admiration and gratitude. the headmistress of course now thinks i'm brilliant which is a bad thing. it only adds pressure to keep up the lie. i am not brilliant. well. i'm not going to actually admit this. who would? but its exhausting maintaining this facade of faultless brilliance so thank baby jesus christ it's holidays!
things were rather tetchy these last two weeks. it shows.
toodely toot, y'all, and bisous X.X.X. deeply blasphemous ones, yeah x j


Janelle said...

in advance, lashings of apologies for the font cock ups...

Will said...

Oh, whenever you write I usually find it. I think you have done what many creative people have done... just run out of blog steam. Oh, you're still intrigued by blogging and you will continue doing it ... maybe slightly less than before. That's perfectly fine (and welcome).

For myself, I erased my blog but a new one, in a different format, will probably show up after the new year.

Just do what you can.


Mud in the City said...

Wonderful to see you back and glad that gin makes a priority appearance on the board!

(So sorry about the dog though. No loyal dog is 'just a dog', they become part of the family)

wv is 'degganob' which feels almost like an anagram of where you live!

Dumdad said...

Welcome back, you've been missed.

Enjoy your hols!

Karen said...

Yes, English teachers are a particularly sorry lot--at least when it comes to writing anything that isn't required for school, eh? I know I meant to post lots more often this semester, even thinking of almost-fully-formed posts in my head. Just wasn't possible.

But I am still here! And happy to have your posts whenever you can make them happen.

I'm so sorry to hear about Trigger. :( That must have been traumatic.

Enjoy your "hols" (we call ours "break," which sounds less friendly and vaguely violent...). Mine will be soon! woohoo!

Karine Ardault said...

Nice to see you are back in blogland!
Do not let those narrow minded people step on your feet!!!

Miranda said...

Hey if that gin is to replace ours don't worry about it! Any old gin'll do!

Great to see you yesterday.
And today

Joëlle said...

Yay your back! Enjoy your holidays!

elizabeth said...

So glad you are back and sad sad sad about the pup
I think most people love their dogs more than many members of their family.

The goat has bags of charm. You can't possibly eat him.
Your play sounds excellent
though I'm always a bit saddened by the tale of poor Willy and Linda

maybe because it rings true in many ways

hope you and your family have a super-duper holidays and lots to eat and drink and smoke and so forth......

from NY

Amanda said...

ohhhh yeah darlin that's my kind of grocery list: carton camel lights and hooch...with all you've been through, you deserve it. and i am so sorry about your pup, dreadful that...

however, i had to laugh at the stick up his ass parent snivelling about the language in death of a salesman -- good god where do these people come from?

wishing you a fabulous rest this holiday and a moment or two to get your drink on - enjoy that bombay sapphire in good spirits ;-)

What Possessed Me said...

I've missed you. I was an English teacher once and it nearly killed me. Kicked my ass good and proper. I'm so sorry about your dog - what a trauma. But at least there is rain...

I like that gin is at the top of your list.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhhh good - you're back!!!

And, of course, love the list. V. good to see you're not suffering with Konyagi out there in the bush ;)

Anonymous said...

oh - and your goat is absolutely precious!!!

Janelle said...

ah THANKS Y'ALL! you're all still out there...staggered back late last night and found all your comments...hurrah! anonymous - who ARE you? konyagi??? sis man....oooergh. x j

fushandchips said...

A cracking return to blogland. I love the picture of the house. See you next year, sooner later, damn it.

PurestGreen said...

Sorry to hear about your puppy. My grandfather accidently ran over our old dog and it was horrible for him, he felt so bad. Sorry too about the annoying parent who should just stick to reading fairytales. Enjoy your holidays. Greetings from Scotland.

Janelle said...

yay! thanks fush! and YES! come ooooon and visit...x j

great to hear from your purest...must be bladdy freezing in scotland right now..a winter wonderland, no doubt. x j

Anonymous said...

Dog on the Floor in the Pet Food Aisle
(Ruth L. Schwartz)

It's so simple, really,
the tenderness we need
lives everywhere,
there is no place it does not live,

and we seek it
and we flail and hurl and fling
ourselves toward the brass ring of it,
as if it were a narrow chance,
a shining and unlikely prize...

It is hard to pinch the air
between our fingers, but we are determined.
It is hard to survive by denying
ourselves, but we are accustomed.
It is hard to live inside the flawed
and gritty chambers we believe ourselves to be,
but we have strapped our bodies in,
we watch our lives through airplane windows,
small and dim and scarred,

and even so, life noses up,
rolling before us
like a black dog,
its brown eyes steady as the sun,
its belly in the air, asking for touch.

A dog is never only, so very sorry for your loss.
I love your blog and writing : )

Mama Shujaa said...


So glad you are back. Pole sana about Tigger. Mingi love.

Mama Shujaa.

Janelle said...

thanks for beautiful poem, anonymous. next time leave a name? x j
mama shujaa - asante sana! kesho nairobi! but am taking computer so i can post while there. can't leave it too long again. x j

connie said...

Ooohooo! You're back! I pop in each morning and I don't give up - your writing is worth the wait. Happy Holidays...

Angela said...

We had to have our old dog put down by a vet without running over it first, so the necessary decision was put off and off, which was not good. So take it as it was - a quick but due good-bye! A dog companion will never leave you, ask Pam.
Yes, so glad to have you back, and with RAIN, finally! Everything in your background looks so GREEN! And I just love that goat!

karen said...

So glad to see you back again.. It has taken me 8 days to get here, too, just to say hello! So very sorry to hear about Tigger...

Great to see the kitchen board back, and hope that the Hooch helped!!