Wednesday, December 22, 2010

gorillas in the christmas tree.


the tree is finally up and sparkling, all thanks to my ever watchful god.

it's enormous. a refreshing change from the usual stark sisal branch nicked from someone's boundary fence. safari c drove for miles, unwittingly it must be said, up the slopes of mt meru to buy one from the forestry department. he said it looked tiny there. it takes up most of the lounge and almost reaches the roof. in fact, it needs an entire shopping mall of decorations and a work force of about 50 men to fill it. it would be completely suitable for Times Square, i reckon. this dubious, yet joyous task, is taken more seriously by last born, alias clingy beetle who also happens to be my god. ya know, as in, whatareyouwearing?whatdidyousay?don'tsaythat!saythis.whyareyousmiling?stopit. doesthislooknice? iamwatchingyoueveninyoursleep. I WANT THE CHRISTMAS FAIRY AT THE TOP OF THE TREE. NOW! I'LL NOT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING ELSE. safari c swiftly followed orders and found the tall ladder and perched her high in the sky. god was happy with what she saw.

first born decided to take god on with a 3cm high plastic gorilla. as she sat staring up at her twinkling creation ( most of which was taking place in the lower third of the tree), first born slyly added his gorilla to the ensemble. he clung precariously to an old maasai beaded ball.

god was none too pleased with this and showed it by a stream of high pitched yelling, going very red in the face retorting that gorillas had absolutely nothing to do with christmas but the pink beaded pig actually did. it was removed and when god wasn't looking, too busy making light, the little gorilla was once more replaced but this time clinging furiously, god forbid, onto one of her little christmas angels, trying with all his little might to steal her trumpet or whatever. not funny. no not funny At All.
things were not made any better by god's mother rather enjoying the game of Where's Wally or rather Where's Gorilla In The Christmas Tree. and the fact that god was so livid because of a little innocuous quite sweet plastic gorilla. god growled and threatened all manner of wrath upon her older brother, who was now skulking irritatingly around our Times Square tree. it was removed only to reappear two hours later peeking cheekily through an attractive yet cheap turkish styled christmas bally. this time first born and i ended up in a fearsome argument over who was going to take the picture. i think he won. whilst god cried furious tears on the couch.

first born delights in the fact that god is very short, at least much shorter than him, which he pointed out. not funny. no. not funny at all. the little gorilla was whisked away and appeared thirty minutes later hanging happily in a soda green tinsel nest high up in his 'forest', with first born taking pictures of him and god lying prostrate with anger beneath him.

the day has ended up rather badly with second born getting involved. a huge row ensued between first and second born, with first born deciding to leave home, only after wounding his brother by calling him names: faggotgayyoucan'tevenreadi'mleavingbecauseofyou. this of course reduced second born to a heart broken vomiting spurt. (burger lunch on lawn). lovely. i am not sure where the little gorilla is now. i am waiting with baited breath. i sit on the couch and search for him amongst the greenery, drinking my tea, thinking that none of this was really in the spirit of christmas. and i have quietly filled the higher two thirds of the tree with the kind help of my now contented little god..... don'thangittherehangitherewhydidyouputitthere? i made the light you know?

indeed you did. indeed you did.

pfff. . .

Kitchen Board: Ngorobob: 22 December 2010.

god (definitely in control of light switch and who clearly can't spell christmas) contented, almost smug, now that the little gorilla is in his very own miniture, leafless string tree, all by himself (see him at the top?)....i dare say he will find his way back into the big tree.....

merry christmas y'all wherever you are. bisous X.X.X. under the soda green mistletoe ones x j

10 comments:

Mud in the City said...

Loved this. Don't gorillas deserve Christmas too? I'm sure one could be lurking behind the donkey at the back of the nativity scene? That would be a most inclusive celebration....

Fabulous Christmas decorations too - those beaded stars? Beautiful!

Reya Mellicker said...

It's best to always say YES to gorillas ... not to mention your daughter. Just say yes.

Happy christmas!

Family Affairs said...

LOVE the gorilla photos......and Merry Christmas to you all as well. Have a great one - loads of love to you all Lx xx

Charl said...

Thanks for all your lovely story paintings. Have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year to you all. From an african far from home.

Mama Shujaa said...

A very happy Christmas to you and yours!

karen said...

Great gorillas!! I am a bit late for Christmas, but wishing you a wonderful New Year!!

Family Affairs said...

ps - you have no idea how delighted I am to read that it is not only my family that has major Xmas tree arguments - not at all in keeping with the spirit we are trying to create for the moment....sorry. Not proud of my confession. Lx

Lighting control systems said...

Iam sure u had a great time on this christmas,Very happy to visit ur blog...http://www.winterizemyavsystem.com/ Belated Christmas and New year wishes to you...

Celeste said...

Hilarious post Janelle, you write so beautifully, I could just imagine the decorating dramas unfolding.
Shame - poor old gorilla deserves a place on the tree :)

James said...

Interesting ornaments, it's so unusual to see a gorilla on a Christmas tree, I mean you won't see them in real life, only squirrels I guess.