Wednesday, January 12, 2011

wishes...


and so big fat january rolls around, all hot and smug and the new year begins all over again. just like all the others.

life pretty much stays the same on the hill apart from all the auspicious numbers naming the days like 01.01.2011 and 10.01. 2011 and 11.01 2011. i can't wait for 11.11.2011 and will most definitely make a wish at 11 minutes past 11 on that day. i have already made a wistful wish at precisely 11.11 am yesterday, along with the rest of my diligent little class of year 7's. i'm not sure that it came true though. how long do wishes take, i wonder?

the bloody goat, who is this close to getting eaten (holding her thumb and second finger a millimeter apart), has taken to raiding the fruit bowl on the dining room table. if caught he dashes out, shoving the bananas into his greedy little mouth as fast as he can. drives me nuts. as does the lack of rain, which makes thunder and great displays all round us but never ON us. added to the menagerie on the hill is one python and one poor guinea pig. the python was rescued from the stubb's farm on the other side of the mountain. it had taken to eating their fowls and finally caused its own demise (imprisonment) when it attacked the pet rabbit who squealed horrifically in the dead of night and traumatized the smaller members of the family along with their mother. i certainly never rescued it. safari c did, with first born. it's his specialty, snakes. presently it sits in a glass tank of the veranda, turning its scaly nose up at the fat guinea pig which periodically gets tossed inside in case he gets hungry. nice. i won't watch. i can't. the Born Free ritual will be imminently played out...i think in the forests of monduli mountain. tati ( a neighbour and best friend) won;t have it released on the hill because it might eat her small puppies, which is a very real possibility.

other than that, i suspect i am suffering a mild to stern form of depression which i know is completely linked to a lurking mid life crisis, which, i have decided, is about the same as being a teenager again, without the pimples. full of anxiety, not sure of identity, quaking at the thought of love. love? what was that now? ooooooh yeah (like baldrick says it) that giddy wobbly feeling which steals all your words and makes an utter fool outta ya...oh YES!? i remember!? how silly silly silly silly of me. glib but persistent thoughts run through my mind, like a chopped up cine, of escaping my life and galloping off into the sunset, like a gypsy, on my spotty horse, and playing tambourines around a fire under a gnarly old tree and making my money by telling people's fortunes. how terrifying is that? best i stick to the safe job of teaching (and make rebels and revolutionaries out of the lot of them. oh i have decided that fidel castro should've got a few more spanks when he was a little boy...reading his bio presently) and training my horse to win the dressage in nairobi. at the end of this year. hopefully i shall compete against the 7 year olds and beat them.

must stop beating the kids at rummikub. i can't help myself. no one will play with me now..."but ma you always win"...so boring. (that no one will play with me. i LOVE and ADORE winning meaningless little games against the children. it makes me feel clever like a Champion of the World. these moments are rare in my life and winning rummikub was one of them. )

yes. best i stick to the old teaching job at school and get a buzz out of smoking behind the bus in the hibiscus forest, take some happy pills and forget about love and gypsies and things like that.

....or should i?

i'm still going to make wishes though. i bet they come true.

Kitchen Board: 12.01.2011

bombas are pipes...oh and i forgot to mention that things are rather tetchy in arusha presently. the opposition party is rumblin'..things are tense...maybe if the rain decides to come, tensions will ease? but this time, i don't think so. it'll take more than rain to ease the situation i'm guessing.toodely old toot, oh bestests, bisous X.X.X. wishful ones x j.

18 comments:

Will said...

Oh, to take the "other" path. Bet you would do fine with the risk. Still, once one questions to do or not do it, the answer has already been made. Hence wild n crazy holidays n weekends. Enjoy, always enjoy.

Mud in the City said...

Sometimes uncertainty can spur positive changes? I'm hoping so.... wishing rain for you!
x

Eleonora said...

I love you, Janelle. In the healthy, friendly way.

Mama Shujaa said...

First I have to ask a quick question: has Safari C seen any Black Mambas around? Then I have to say that yes, wishes do come true. Keep wishing.
xxx

Janelle said...

lovely to hear from y'all...subiri mama...ok will they come true IF a mamba has been seen or NOT been seen a mamba? i could always arrange one...x j

Reya Mellicker said...

I'm so happy the kitchen board is back.

There is no escape from aging, but I don't blame you for wishing, for dreaming of a wholly different life. The 40's are such a tough decade. People in their 40's suddenly realize that this, I mean THIS life, is the life they are living, not all those other lives they imagined. After 50 the cool thing is, you realize OK, this is my life. It's a fine life. Believe me.

Wishes this year take eleven minutes, eleven days, eleven weeks or eleven months.

May all your wishes come true!

Reya Mellicker said...

May all your wishes come true in eleven minutes, meant to say!

Janelle said...

thanks man reya...ok well. have marked the calender for 11 days...it never happened in 11 minutes...so i'm reckoning 11 days..and if that doesn;t work then i'm headed for 11 weeks, then 11 months then 11 years then...what then??? x j

Mama Shujaa said...

Janelle - Oh, no pole! As far as I know the appearance of Black Mambas (or snakes) do not make wishes come true...in fact in our nyumba we cannot utter the word 'snake' at night; brings bad luck.

Lakini, on the love, rekindled love, it lights up/comes when you least expect it; it will come. When you are look tensely around for it, you might miss it. So, just ngoja pole pole, it will come.

Janelle said...

oh!!! hehhe heh he sawa sawa....at least the python now is free in monduli mountains...so. i'm wishin'! xxx

Amanda said...

feeling the january blues on this end of the globe as well. i remember this stage of life/parenting well. i wanted to run away, and sometimes, i did. my kids are older than yours and i just wrote a post about the next phase, when they leave home. about how i sometimes wish i were back at your phase of the game. maybe reading it will cheer you up --

anyway, it's ok to run away sometimes. we all have to preserve our sanity the best way we know how.

elizabeth said...

Ah you capture this stage so well.........
those dreams of passionate adventures
and then life
which should be adventure enough but somehow isn't
and so we go on........


do not like snakes......

teaching has its rewards:
got a super letter from ex-student with 2 Simon and Shuster published novels under his belt

thanking me
for making it possible

believe me
I was just there
but nice he thinks I'm wonderful

hee hee

I am very old and can scarecly remeber dreams of love

well I do remember but it seems a little dim

Your essays always delight.

What Possessed Me said...

I am always plotting my next escape - it lets the air out of the tires a bit. Incidentally, I think the best way to find love is to encounter it while escaping - and then bring it back home with you. xox

Angela said...

When I can`t sleep at night I sometimes imagine some crazy adventures which I never DARED to ponder about in reality. I can go into jungles and move like Mowgli on the tree tops, or I can cliff dive or jump from helicopters - anything. No mosquitoes bite me, I can`t drown and I must never look for hidden attackers. It gives me an amazing sense of freedom, (almost) really doing the things I probably never will. But usually I fall asleep after a while.
And now that I am old and have NOT been in those foreign lands, do I care? As Reya and Amanda and Elizabeth said...it was adventure enough. Sometimes tough, even without extra mosquitoes. But bliss.

Lori ann said...

hey sweetie,
i have just made a wish for your wishes to come true.

sometimes when i have felt like this it helped me to have little wishes that were pretty sure to come true as well as the big ones that felt like only a dream. hey, for me, my 40's were when i really began to live the life i always dreamed of. i think the important thing is to put them out there. and believe.

xxx l

Reluctant Memsahib said...

you can have some of our rain. we are knee deep in the wretched stuff in our wild way out west. my ceiling is bellied and jaudiced like a drunk.

family Affairs said...

11/11/11 - that's MY BIRTHDAY!!! Obv going to have to have HUGE party!! Yay.

Never forget about gypsies and love.....just try and squeeze them in somehow - maybe time for a trip with your old man?? Lx

connie said...

Where art thou! I'm missing the lovely writing.