so i was driving down the road this evening ...after dropping the kids off at the kind, christian, PLAY-STATION-ACTIVE family for a sleep over... and i understood the pink floyd line "caught between heavan and hell", for the first time. it's a state of mind. rather. as flippant as a switch.
there i was driving into a paltry grey afternoon, with the last born, 5 or something, shouting at me because i didn't stop at the sunflowers outside the airport because she needs to see one close up. for the first time ever. i remember when i first saw her. in the charitable hospital, arusha, being scanned by a somalian gynae in a grimy grey cold dusty building, who was so shocked because i couldn't remember when my last period was. so i didn't dare ask him if this could possibly be an immaculate conception because i couldn't actually remember having sex.
and there on a flickering black and white screen was a heart beat. racing. clearly, beautifully, immaculately.
maybe i'm thick or something. it's taken me a while.
stuff kitchen board. boring. its two in the morning.
toodely and all...
oh and ps. my car is fucked. completely. and apparently we are bloody lucky we didn't all die in a ball of flames.